What’s the point of communicating if you aren’t being heard? It’s like how do I explain this. You’re in a dark room and the spot light is on you and your shouting because the light is hot and bright. But no one hears you. So you look around and find a glass between you and the person with the light switch. You can’t talk through the glass. And the person can see you and you can see them. But that’s all. You shout bang and that person still won’t shut the light off.
So then you start sweating and are sad and uncomfortable because well that person won’t listen to you or your needs. They just like watching you with the light on.
I was always told relationships are a two way street. But for me and this person it seems one way and my job is to please her and bite my tongue to not cause issues.
Well that is how it is right now for a certain close family member and I. She can talk and be mean to me and belittle me. Treat me like I am still in high school. When reality is farther from the truth. I am in college full time to get my associates for early childhood education. I live at home as its cheaper and easier with all my medical issues.
And when I tell her that the way she talks to me and treats me makes me upset she twists it to favor her image. Saying that I am taking it the wrong way or I am taking it too far. It’s the same excuses I get time and time again.
And each time I find myself apologizing to her. But for what expressing my concern and sadness for the manner in which she treats me. I apologize so she will turn the light off and we can pretend that she never did to me and that all is well and forgiven.
While for me the light is still dimmed and i find it hard to focus my eyes. And each time the same thing happens. I can’t get out of this loop.