Not every doctor is the same. Surgeons are a special breed of people most of them have horrible bedside manners but not all. I learned regardless of their bedside manner they don’t want to be your friend they want to treat you make you better and challenge you at every turn.
My knee surgeon was like that. He wanted to help me but he wanted to challenge me at every turn. I think he did like me by my second knee surgery but he wasn’t the type to show any emotion. I think he knew or I like to think he knew that after he let me go at least my knees would be in their best position possible. If he wasn’t pleased with how I was progressing he’d say do better, try harder, push yourself more. I credit my thick skin from him. I felt even on my own I could continue to challenge myself.
My foot surgeon on the other hand was more of the guy who was like a giant teddy bear except he too wanted make me better. He was like the nicest surgeon I’ve had so far very talkative and would even talk about his own personal life with me. One funny story when I was getting my foot surgery he went to go tell my mom that it went well and it’s done. So my sister comes over and he nearly has a heart attack because he thought “wait didn’t I just operate on you??” My sister and I look similar but like I didn’t think it was enough to cause my surgeon to panick.
My last surgeon was my hip one. He was the soft spoken but thoughtful and methodical kind of guy. He would often sit in the room and think and come to some sort of conclusion or plan for what’s next for me. I realized due to my EDS I confused him a lot of the time. I mean he went in to my procedure expecting a labrum tear and realize my hip was actually really unstable and essentially coming apart which was causing my instability and pain.
Basically each surgeon taught me how to handle any doctor to help me. You have to go in expecting they don’t care and have your weapons ready have your questions ready, your concerns ready, your worries ready. You are your best advocate. You ink your body so well that you went to a doctor because you knew you couldn’t fix it and something is obviously very wrong. Just be calm, cool, and collected.